We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
