I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
