North Korea, Best Korea!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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