Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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