Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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