well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
