Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
