You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
