my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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