Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
