i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
