If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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