I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
