Don't make out with my wife yet
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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