I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
