You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
