i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
