lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
