I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
