I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
