She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
