well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
