I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
