I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
