The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
