I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
you never un-have a 4some
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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