True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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