He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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