i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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