So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
