she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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