AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
