Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
