So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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