please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
