I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ttyl tear gas
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
