Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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