You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
