the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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