The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
