Moan for me like Helen Keller
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
