There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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