that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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