First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The feeling are messing with the penis
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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