Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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