i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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