He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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