The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
