I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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