I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
